One of those days!!
Posted by Dr. Earl R. Smith II in Questions, tags: advisor, advisory board, board of directors, CEO, chairman, coaching, consulting, director, Leadership, leadership assessment, leadership development, leadership styles, Life Coaching, management assessment, Personal Growth, spiritualityIt only happens every once in a great while but, when it does, I am always amazed. Today was one of those days when all the stars seemed to be lined up in a conspiracy to make it a waste of time. A new contact turned out to be unreliable and insensitive to the impact of being that way. Three of the four meetings that were scheduled were canceled - all be it all for good reasons. So after the one meeting I stopped at one of my favorite watering holes - ordered a martini made just right and lit up a good cigar. After a few minutes the world went away and I decided to let it finish the day on its own. How do you deal with ‘one of those days’?
Dr. Smith is a proven senior executive, successful entrepreneur, published author and public speaker. He serves on boards of directors and advisory boards or as a strategic advisor to CEOs. Dr. Smith specializes in leadership development and advising management on leadership styles which make them more effective leaders. He also works as an executive and/or life coach in the areas of personal growth and spirituality.
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Keith Johnson wrote:
Earl,
There is nothing that a baseball bat cannot solve!
Seriously - for me it is usually a signal for me to sit back and take stock. Usually when I do that I cannot help but laugh. Life is a roller coaster and you have to ride the ups and downs and love every minute of it.
The other thing is a stiff drink, junk food and sitting at home and do something I really enjoy - my friends and family.
Sheesh the above looks and sounds pretty corny… but hey its the simple things. Besides, this is what I can do within the constrains of the law.
Have a good one.
KJ
Karen Fawcett wrote:
I shared your day. I can’t decide whether or not to beat my head against the walk or go to the gym. I’d like to do the former … but am going to do the latter. A bientot. K
Jeffrey Schwartz wrote:
You do margaritas, I do a nice glass of Scotch.
Sometimes I go to the range and fire a hundred rounds or so into paper, or shoot trap. Either way, I transfer the day’s/week’s problems (whenever I can get out there) onto the target.
Now that I’ve had my knee surgery, I’ll be taking my troubles out on my bike.
Chad Clark wrote:
When I have ‘one of those days’ I hit the gym and train all out. I use that negative energy to achieve maximum results. If I am in season (football) it is much easier for me to deal with a day gone wrong. Where else can you take out your frustrations physically and not go to jail? Basically, you take the negative and channel it into a positive!
Jonathan Arnold wrote:
Take care of the wife (who is ill) and children (in high school) and dogs and cats and birds. Help with teacher-work (for my wife) and home work (for my kids). Cook dinner. Clean the kitchen. Vacuum and mop. Pay bills. Walk the dog. Put everyone to bed. Plan the next day, and be grateful for this one. Sleep. Wake up and start over.
I get mad sometimes, and frustrated. But it doesn’t change anything. I still gotta do all of the above.
Alice de Sturler wrote:
I turn off the cell, log off whatever is on, get a properly chilled chablis or chardonnay (preferably reserve chardonnay from Simi) and read Oscar Wilde’s Canterbury Ghost. It always cracks me up. If that doesn’t do it (and it is hard to not laugh at the imagery of a ghost catching a cold or visualizing him oil his chains), I grab a book by Carl Hiaasen and that will do it!
Sorry the day worked out the way it did, glad it ended relaxed!
Susan Oakes wrote:
I had a similar day a few weeks ago and I decided to just laugh about it all and go for a walk along the beach. I also think when everything stacks up it is a sign to sit back and do something enjoyable.
Bill Nigh wrote:
Hey, I’m only a couple of years from retirement. I think about that, and usually I just crack up. Fortunately, I love what I’m doing — a Liberal Arts guy in a technical field, getting paid to write, so it’s a lot easier to take than what most folks have to put up with, that’s for sure.
Mary Lascelles wrote:
Hello there…
I think you did just the right thing - well, I don’t smoke cigars or drink martinis but I do enjoy wine.
It seems as though, on days like you had today, that everyone else is out of sync. But how can that be? It’s typically something we’re doing and don’t realize - let it go and don’t control it - just as you decided to do - and let it drift off - just as you did.
Tomorrow is a new day and could be a perfectly aligned day. Why? Who knows? Who knows? Just is that way sometimes for no overt reason at all.
Here’s to Thursday. I love Thursdays anyway - no matter what. It’ll be much better. If it’s not, call me!
Cheers,
Mary
Andrew Walker wrote:
For me, as best as I possibly can, I try to look at the positive side of the day no matter how badly its going. There’s usually something that’s good out of each day whether its a relatively good day or not. When I take my attention off the bad stuff that’s taking place and put them on things that are going good, I find myself immediately feeling better. I go with that feeling and live in the present and make the most of it.
Eustis Corrigan wrote:
Okay Doc…I deal with days like this in the following ways (no particular order):
1. Being a runner I will schedule some run time after the day is out…no more than 45 minutes so that I’m not away from my family too long. Running in solitude, or with my iPod, lets my mind wander and churn through any negative energy of the day.
2. As I keep a journal I will write about the day…what went right and what went wrong…and just let it all hang out on paper. By unleashing any negative energy with pen and paper I am not involving anyone else and pulling them into any issues.
3. I will also dig through and find some old music that I have not listened to in a while with the hopes that this will take my mind off of things.
4. For various reasons I don’t find that drinking helps me relax or deal with the day any better than physical or mental exercise.
5. As a last resort and depending on the issue, I may call an old friend or mentor and seek advice. Again, it just depends on the situation.
Beverly Meehan wrote:
One of those days…becomes for me an excuses to get out and make some sales calls. I get up from my desk, tell everyone I am going out to make sales calls and go visit clients who make me remember why I love sales. I usually end up with a lead or a new piece of business and that becomes the frosting on the cake!
Terri L Maurer wrote:
My drink of choice would be a margarita, but a trip to Starbucks for some decadent concoction would do just as nicely. Sometimes, you just need to walk away from it, breathe deeply and become one with the universe, hoping that the stars and planets will have a different alignment the next day.
Leigh David wrote:
I call days like the one you describe 60-hour days. You know you’re having one when time starts crawling. You check your watch with the conviction that at least an hour has passed to discover that it’s only been five minutes. Hence the 60 hour day. Now, I have no objection to working extra hours but on these days there is no payoff in increased productivity and you don’t get overtime, brownie points or fame for surviving them.
Hence, if you knew that it was going to be a 60-hour day, I think the best thing to do would be to stay home. I think it would only be fair to know when I have been scheduled for them so I can exercise the option to stay home, contemplate what the world has come to, read a book, send bad puns and profound pontifications to my friends and colleagues. Unfortunately, I never know that I’m stuck with a day that will never end until I’m in the middle of one of them.
How do I deal with them? I let people know that I’m working a 60-hour day. If I’m going to invest all those extra hours, I want recognition for them. Fortunately they don’t happen often.
Maybe we need a twelve-step group for 60-hour day survivors. Hello, my name is Leigh and I’m a 60-hour day survivor.
Tom Field wrote:
Earl:
To me, that’s why God invented basketball courts.
No matter how crappy the day, there’s nothing quite the feeling I get when I run hard, breathe deeply, jump up and coordinate my muscles at just the right moment, and then “SWISH!” — the ball falls through the net, just as it’s supposed to, and all because of me.
It’s why I love one-on-none basketball. You only need a ball and a hoop. You don’t need a partner to complete the exercise. Just you, your goal, and how hard do you feel like working out today?
best,
Tom
Archana Pandey wrote:
I try to interact less and less with people around. Do not send any important email and try to concentrate on making some reports or do some mundane work. I finish day early and go home and watch TV with light dinner
Americo Jose Lopes Diniz wrote:
Read it as a signal to do a different thing. Go shopping or read a book or watch a sport of your preference or go walk and pay attention to what are surrounding you. Talk to young people and elderly people too. So just do not waste your time thinking on what it could be. Enjoy! Look for the video “wear sunscreen”. It talks a little about it.
Edward F. Johnson Jr. wrote:
Hello Earl-
As one Cigar smoker to another, I noticed that there are many differences in price that don’t make a huge difference in quality. I simply search for the taste and qualities I enjoy in a good smoke, and ignore the rest. For example, all tobacco, Shade wrapper, long, short, or sandwich filler, Honduran tobacco, etc. You can buy many “Premium” cigars at a great expense. However, I found a great smoke that fits those requirements that only cost $1.90 . So I bought a box of 50 and got a further discount! My less than $2 cigars are plenty enjoyable, and I don’t need to break the bank buying a box. The point is, I try to approach life that way, searching for the requirements of what I want, separate from what “experts” tell me or what I am “supposed” to have, or do or say. All of these are static that prohibit me from living (and enjoying) life on life’s terms, and I don’t have to dance to other’s expectations.
James Penman wrote:
For me, the best way to end all days (good or bad) are:
1. Kiss my wife
2. Hug my children
3. Eat a hearty dinner
4. A glass of vintage porto (preferrably 15 years or older)
5. Prepare for a new day ahead of countless opportunities
Best wishes to all
Susan Shwartz PhD wrote:
I don’t do cigars. I do do single-malt. If I don’t do single-malt, CHOCOLATE.
Richard Redmont wrote:
I have found a couple of things that work pretty well for me on those “Argggh” kind of days….
If you are in an office building, go to the elevator then to the ground floor…..take a walk around the block….then get back to work…..it won’t totally clear your mind but it will clear your mind, refresh you, and allows you to refocus. (This one works well to improve your productivity for the rest of the day) I am not suggesting a long walk……just a brief walk that allows your mind to step away from the challenges of the day.
If you have a peaceful place such as a park, lake, river, etc, then drive there and for 15 minutes don’t say anything….Admire the beauty of the place and work at letting it go….breathing exercises help as well
I know that a 3-4 mile walk always help tremendously at the end of the day…..I normally find that my mind is racing for the first mile, slows some by the second mile and then by the third mile is normally clear……if it is not…..go for mile four..
Definitely don’t respond to email…..Most likely you will misinterpret it and run the risk of an unpleasant message and then response
Hailey Dunn wrote:
James had it right….
I go home and spend time laughing and enjoying time with my husband and daughter. We then enjoy a nice dinner and a glass of wine helps. Though I’m not as picky about the wine, I do enjoy a good glass of wine after one of those days.
Doug Hering wrote:
I strive to turn bad news into good things.
Peter Barry wrote:
I took a course late last year in Mindfullness Based Cognitive Training.
I have been using this on and off since. Its a form of meditation centered around the breath (Which we alwayas have with us). Its not too difficult as the expectations are not the same as Transcendental Meditation, however its a very good way of checking out of everything else and checking in with myself.
I have several practices on my ITouch from a 5 minute ‘take a break’ to 40 mins body scan. Its hard to get going but with diligence and practice I find this actually works for me and makes me retrieve an sense of calm and dignity.
Afterwards I try to make time to look at ‘Rescue me’ with Denis Leary as it cracks me up altogether.
Katherine Howard wrote:
I seldom have “those days” because that would mean I let something as trivial as a missed meeting control me. I step back for a minute and think about the bigger picture - in a million years will it matter? In a week will it matter? It’s time to go home, should it really matter now? And with that, I let it go.
I drive home with my favorite mind altering music on - depends on where I want the brain to go. Some days I drive home in silence and simply enjoy “being”.
No drinking or smoking for me - but when it is an option, MHS is always good for starting the next day off to a positive start.
Gary Pyke wrote;
As a very quick fix. I get out my phone and watch ‘Where is Matt? Dacing 2008′ as the music and all the people on it make me smile. It takes only 4 minutes to change my mood. However, I do like the idea of a good cigar and a single malt.
Harshwardhan Gupta wrote:
I go to my kitchen, and cook a nice dish for the family. Most relaxing and perfect foil for a bad, hard day.
Rather gauche and “un-philosophical”, but it works for me
Rod Saunders wrote:
Hey Doc -
No where to go and nothing to do.
How easy it is to forget; how easy it is to get back.
Take care
Riccardo Rasponi wrote:
Yes I do. Mostly during last months
Luigi Morelli wrote:
Be happy, tomorrow will be worse…
Steve Cohn wrote:
Martial arts is the only method that works for me.
Everything else just proves to be a temporary distraction.
Peter Mojica wrote:
Hello Earl,
If it was truly one of those days, I just chalk it up to “shit happens” and keep happily truckin down the road. I do admit though, that many many moons ago - I might’ve spent the rest of the day planning retribution against those evil meeting cancellers’ that put me out
I guess we do grow up after all.
Good Luck,
Peter
Suzanne Davis wrote:
Hey Earl, I do feel your pain. Last week (same day?) I had one of those. Schedules changed maybe three times before it all went to hell in a hand-basket. Basically nothing got done. I too walked away from that day. But for me it is all about outside - never mind the weather. Some comfortable work clothes, good leather gloves and I start hauling rocks and working in the garden/yard. That takes me away from all the negative feelings from a frustrating day.
Karan Jain wrote:
A bottle of scotch,a nice cuban and some good jazz/lounge music really works out for me.
Mike Ruff wrote:
1. Relieve stress. I play hockey because they won’t let me hit people with sticks at work. This will help clear your mind.
2. Reassess your methodology. You might be trying to push a rope. If so, just go to the other end and pull.
3. Only you can control how you feel. If hugging your family doesn’t make you happy, hug some one else’s family and smile when you do it. If that doesn’t work go back to step one.
That should do it.
Robert Poulk wrote:
Hi Doc!
Jennings’ Corrolary to Murphy’s Law:
If everything is going well you have overlooked something.
Entropy is the natural progression from order to chaos. The universe LOVES chaos and spends all of its time wrecking our little attempts to put things in order. So if you don’t have a bad day now and then you either are overlooking things on a regular basis or are a living, breathing violation of the laws of nature. Since your bad day wasn’t even properly bad (your martini was delivered as expected and the cigar refrained from exploding), I’d be inclined to believe that Jennings applies here. Personally, I blame it on the Time Bandits, and enjoy any day I get through without attracting their attention.
Peace,
Robert