Dr. Earl R. Smith II

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46 Responses to “How do you deal with type-A personalities?”
1.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:43 am e
David Manheim: I think that more than dealing with this specific situation, the recent article I saw at Bnet “How to Win at Office Politics” is very helpful. Hope you find it helpful/useful.
Of course, most tips for dealing with others come down to personality, and deal making, so I’d probably say the two books to read are:
You Can Negotiate Anything (Herb Cohen) which deals extensively with what he calls “Russian Tactics”, that is other people playing hard ball in an anti-social way.
and Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which everyone should read, and helps you get along with everyone.
Links:
http://www.bnet.com/2403-13070_23-93243.html
2.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:45 am e
Scott Goldman: This is a great question certainly worth pondering. I deal with every one on a one to one basis, one size does not fit all. I’ve learned over the years to “teach” others how I like to communicate which reduces the amount of negative energy and confrontation.
There is one Type A person in my sphere that I derive mentorship and confidence from. He continually inspires me to acheive because of his own drive and the way that he can effectively communicate with me.
The trickier personality is the glory seeker, the self – appointed martyr.
In this scenario, I must continue to recognize that there is nothing that I can do or say that will change his style. I am direct, concise and forceful when need be and try to put my energy into something more productive.
I myself exhibit a degree of Type A behavior, although I am known to be a flexible and attentive leader. The difference between all of us helps to make the day exciting, energizing, frustrating, productive and inclusive. Without it, life would be pretty boring.
3.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:47 am e
Shannon Munford M.A.: As an owner of several anger management education centers. I have worked with many type – A personalities in my anger management classes. In my experience individuals who have a temperment marked by excessive competitivenss and ambition expect alot from themselves and their co-workers. Often times when their expectations are not met frustration can set in. This frustration is manifested in stress and verabal and sometimes physcial aggression. In short I try to help my clients lower their expectations without eliminating their drive.
Links: http://www.daybreakservices.com
4.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:48 am e
Thamir Ghaslan:
My question is, when you encounter this type, how do you deal with them?
Challenge or emulate them.
Have you found your relationships with type-A’s mutually beneficial or one sided?
Mutually beneficial.
Do you consider yourself a type-A?
Yes.
What are the positive and negative sides of type-A personalities?
Postive: Growth. Strength.
Negative: It can ruin relationships, based on my personal experience.
5.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:49 am e
Tania Dias: I’m a mixture of type A and B, so I tend to understand where they are coming from to some extent. However, I have found that those who are extreme type A often rile other team members because of their impatience and lack of tact (especially the softer/introverted personalities) and trample over their suggestions in meetings. Talking to such a person about their behaviour usually results in a bruised ego and bullying behaviour to whoever complained (as they don’t reflect on their behaviour and can’t take constructive criticism). I find them to be competent fast workers in most cases, but difficult to manage as they always seem to want to lead but can not follow. Other members of the team often have mixed reactions to them. Those who are mostly type A, think they are brilliant and those more towards the type B personality, find them insufferable!
As a middle manager, I am still learning how to get the most out of the extreme type A personality and develop them to be the best that they can be, without getting burnt myself in the process. They have much to offer an organisation.
6.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:50 am e
Denise Wilmer Barreto: I must confess that I am often told that I am Type-A so this may come across as somewhat biased but hey, who isn’t in some way?
Type-As tend to be super hard on everyone and usually more so on themselves. One of the best ways to deal with Type-A’s is to acknowledge their expertise and offer them options or alternatives. We always feel the need to DO everything until someone comes along and wrestles something away. We always respect that person who has the courage to point out that we cannot do everything and should lean on others. Then we are the best teammate to have. Because in addition to being control freaks, we’re often super loyal people with a small but tight-knit group of confidants and once you’re in – you’d have to commit treason to be kicked out.
7.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:51 am e
James Stuart:
Good afternoon Earl,
The relationship has to be two sided and synergistic. If it isn’t then it isn’t a worthwhile relationship for one party and therefore not worth pursuing.
How do I deal with A-type people? Through much practice I show them what benefit they can gain from me – and what I expect from them. There may be some negotiation … or not, depends. The thing is, A-type people are always looking for something. Find out what that something is and you have a good route to a significant level of benefit, regardless of what the benefit is at that time.
The interesting thing about people are their differences. A-type people are possibly among the most interesting. They really do believe they can or want to control everything … and yet can also be controlled and guided. It’s fun.
Personally I know what I want out of life – and know how to get it. In our complex world this invariably means enlisting the help of people with specific skills to get you from A to B. A-type people come in useful mainly because of their drive, their resources and their available network. But, as I said, if the relationship veers too much to what they want without any regard to what you want, the best thing is simply to walk away. They will hate this approach – and will either fume or will try to negotiate. Sometimes this takes some time to feed through yet with interesting results.
They just have to learn they can’t have everything their own way. You can tell I have children !!!
Hope this helps.
8.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:52 am e
James Huntingford: In my experience this type of person is lacking in empathy,understanding, and self control (maybe thats a bit harsh). But one common thread is that the tendancy is to burn out, and sometimes miss the obvious. Weakness is easy to spot. Best described as a ‘12 round slugger’ rather than a ‘1 round KO’.
9.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:53 am e
Gerald Lo: I like to think of my title, “Project Manager,” as descriptive of my employer’s expectations that I am engaged in the practice of management of situations, contingencies, budgest, schedules and human resources.
It would be an indifferent manager, in my opinion, who could only work with personalities of one type or another, and a mediocre one who could only manage those temperaments of a certain preference.
I see type-A behavior, but seldom try to characterize the persons behind them as subscribing exclusively to that school of thought. I am capable of dealing with type-A personality behaviors, whether my responses are in kind or of another sort is frequently dependent upon the situation, context and probable outcomes.
I don’t consider myself type-A, there are people who might disagree.
Some people don’t consider extreme competitiveness and control “excessive.”
I recognize some whose comfort zone appears to be one of dominance, and can work with them.
They tend to have ready answers, appear to move things along, and may be counted upon to support expediency and decisiveness.
As such, they can be powerful resources under the right circumstances.
On a personal level, I have noticed that when I make a conscious effort not to pigeonhole others into the so-called Personality Types and attempt to view them within the context of a situation, they can afford the opportunity to be right good company.
I much prefer to be judged on my environment and my behavior within those circumstances.
To me, casting people a priori in the light of “Type A-B Personality” is as fraught with potential for misunderstanding as those who would type people’s personalities by blood type. It seems to me to be pretty far afield from the original intents of the folks who devised the terminology, and I’m not sure of its overall precision or accuracy.
10.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:55 am e
Alan Tobin: As a person with Type-A personality, I find your question to be one many of people should have asked years and years ago. In an ever growing competitive business world, companies are seeking out as the more desirable candidate. Looking for us to lead by showing our passion, ability to multi-task at high pace, accuracy in accomplishing tasks, fast decision making process and great communicating skills, leaves most of us in driver’s seat to do battle during the evolution of free trade.
While your question was a bit vague as in the sense of the dealing (i.e. business, personal, relationships), I find the one common trait among all subjects to be competition. This does not have to be direct competition, but even against one’s self. In most cases though, I find myself in battle against someone else. Sometimes the other individual realizes we are competing and sometimes not.
In the business world we are able to succeed by our relentless efforts to constantly improve ourselves and relentless ability to stay focused on task(s) until completed. In our personal lives, we may come of a bit OCD, but mainly it’s our tireless focus on task(s) at hand.
In summery, you can do the following when dealing with TYPE-A personalities:
1. Professionally- You can always count on them to represent the company with the best socializing and networking abilities. They can handle large stack loads of work so long as you give them space and a bit of creative control. Most times work better alone or in groups of five or smaller.
2. Personal- Understanding they are creatures of habit means you can not easily change ones personal life style. It should be an interview question for most employers who are considering hiring a Type-A. Girlfriends will attest that they found it hard to curve or change certain habits. My advice, allow them the space needed if they have not learned some of life’s lessons yet and they will. Their relentlessness towards achieving tasks also applies to the pursuit of a woman who they strongly desire. Again, this also goes back to their love for competition.
11.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:56 am e
Dr. Shaun Jamison: I believe we are all on a continuum of personalities and may exhibit different traits depending on environmental factors. Knowing this, we can be empathetic to the needs of someone in an “A” mode the same as we can be sensitive to other learning styles and personality types.
If an A personality demands decisive and concise answers, try to plan to provide those by anticipating the questions to allow yourself time to think if that is what you require. Don’t get sucked into competitiveness if that doesn’t work for you. Congratulate them on their success and move on, don’t let it affect you negatively. An A personality can do a great job of executing. Give them a well thought out course of action and get out of their way.
Can a relationship with an “A” be mutually beneficial? Absolutely! We need people who take pride in getting things done and done quickly. The “A”s need thoughtful people willing to stand up to them when they get on to an unwise path. It’s all a question of awareness and creating a safe atmosphere where people can communicate and support each other. An environment where mistakes are not only tolerated, but learned from. Peter Senge writes about “Learning Organizations” in his book “Fifth Discipline.”
12.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:57 am e
Matthew Liptak: Most Recruiters I have worked with or for are Type A and it can be good and bad. Some mesh well and then there are some that are similar personalities that conflict. I think my personality is Type A to a point. I think the ambition and compettiveness are there and self reflection but the need to control situations is not me at all. I think I like some type of self control but I am in no means a control freak. I have seen many type A’s and some good and some bad.
13.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:58 am e
Matthew Feldman: I think I am a Type-A personality. I like to “get to the point” as quickly as possible. Don;t waste time with compliments, too much background, or other BS. Short, succinct, direct, honest – those will get the best response from a Type-A.
After reading other responses…many also are correct. Type-A likes to see results…not excuses or intermediate status. Is it completed? Is it completed properly and at a quality level that “I” would have done it. When dealing with Type-A’s…again…keep communcation to a minimum…and Type-A’s love to hear sucesses!!
14.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:59 am e
Dave Soteros: I recommend providing them with a compelling, quantifiable objective or role and a framework to work within. This will allow them the room (freedom) to be themselves and the opportunity to find a better/faster way of delivering the task at hand. The framework should include the corporate vision, standards and values and should be agreed to up front and reinforced.
15.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:00 pm e
Robert Dolezal: For a relationship to exist, both parties must be able to internalize the other’s position–understand, not necessarily accept. Your definition f a Type A describes someone for whom the others in their lives are inconsequential at best, tools and impediments at worst.
My experience shows that many so-called (even self-classified) type As have a public shell but a much different, vulnerable and frequently hurting interior emotional personality. That’s why they get blindsided so often–their conscious persona simply can’t accept distractions or obstacles to what they are driving so hard to achieve.
A true Type A is someone that doesn’t need, respect, or value others. False Type As are desperate to achieve status to overcome their personal weaknesses, and they often succeed for long stretches only to self-destruct–sometimes spectacularly.
I deal with them by avoiding the true Type As like a plague, and working to build trusting relationships with the false Type As. Keeping them focused on relationships and individuals instead of their goals is the challenge, but channeling and redirecting there energy makes personal self-discovery and change their new goals.
16.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:01 pm e
Tim Steele: I am an “A” and other A’s are challenging for me. Drawing boundaries is very important and one must be sure to keep those lines drawn. However, I have to be very deliberate about giving other A’s their due respect as I tend to learn more from them.
17.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:02 pm e
Anja Jessen: I am not an expert on this, but reading through the trail of answers. I started wondering: your set of characteristics for A-types would, by some, be described as spot on for a “leader’s” needs. If you were to take out “excessive”, “obsession with” and other superlatives. Proof to me, indirectly, is that almost every responder confessed to being A-type themselves.
Another aspect – and my apologies for the vagueness of this: I find that cultural differences often lead to much greater and more impactful characterisations. I am German. Guess what most people expect from me? Control, organisation, roughness and all the gentleness of a steamroller. Luckily I have a surprise or two up my sleeve …
18.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:50 pm e
Steve Parker: It is very important to understand a bit more about the Type A. For the most part from their point of view it is very clear that the path they have chosen is right one. For them it is a frustrating waste of time to have to explain the obvious to the rest of us.
Yes I have many with many type As. With understanding they can be worked with and have benefits on both sides. Long term there has never been a friendship. I avoid type As when I can. The key is understanding and a calm aproach. Often you have to get past their frustration and ask for clarification. It is important to stay focused and not let your project be hijacked. Written meeting minutes and the like will help.
19.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:51 pm e
Jerry Godwin: I have dealt with apparent “Type-A” personalities from different angles. I may be assuming certain people are Type-A when they really aren’t. I believe some are overly controlling and, at the same time, condescending, arrogant, and downright abusive. Then there are some that are overly controlling, however able to understand others have strength that will only compliment their strength or task. Either way can have a somewhat selfish motive, but the second type is willing to look at others as a source of strength and not a source of defeat or frustration.
The first type I have decided have no real place in my life. There is a book by Robert Sutton called “The No Asshole Rule” and I feel it fits that situation well, as well as other situations. That rule is *not* confined to “Type A” You can’t ignore or condone the arrogance and abusive nature of this type of person as a manager or leader. Although as a manager you may be able to handle it, it isn’t about you. It is about how well the team or environment can handle it or how they react to it. You should quickly assert this as unacceptable or the rest of your organization will exact the toll. I have removed myself from a similar situation and I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Attempting to humiliate co-workers because you feel superior or can’t deal with your anger is not a management type and should never be excused as “Type A.”
I also agree the first type tend to build a network of “trust” around them that can only be penetrated if you give them what they want. This is part of a controlling nature. This is another set of corporate destructive behaviors and I know more than one person that has left a job because of that type of elitist environment.
The second type I have decided are great allies and workers. They have drive, but aren’t willing to destroy the environment to keep the drive alive. The strength of this Type A in a team (which almost seems anti-Type A) is extremely valuable. Although it becomes a chore to make sure they aren’t killing themselves, they work hard and generally with great results and drive in mind.
So in short, I enjoy working with a Type A if they are willing to concede others have strength, and willing to work to that strength. Does that mean I do not enjoy working with Type A?
20.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:52 pm e
Ateeq Ahmad: I think there are various shades of grey even among self-classified Type A people so it is hard to judge. However, I have worked with some extreme Type A folks and I can testify that they are a royal pain for a manager. They are very corrosive to team spirit within an enterprise and tend to make decisions only in a “self-fulfilling vacuum”.
Most people do not perceive that they are appropriately rewarded if they work around extreme Type A personalities since they tend to hog the limelight as much as possible. I have seen people leave teams based on a poisonous dynamic that such people can create. Of course, I am talking of extreme cases. Most Type A’s in the middle of the curve tend to be somewhat cooperative and some are downright excellent!
21.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:53 pm e
Terrence Seamon: I’m married to one…for 24 years.
I’m the easy-going one. Generally, it is hard for me to match her in obsessively getting tasks done, drive, speed, and need for control. So I’ve learned to accept her, as well as accept myself.
I’d really like her to slow down and take it a bit easier. Anybody have any ideas?
22.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:55 pm e
Jukka Valkonen: I look forward to working with Type-A. I suppose at some point in my career I was Type-A. I’ve learned patience and understanding, and pacing. I have learned to that although I like to win, I don’t have to. And for a turbo charged person, I can regulate the boost. These experiences I can share with those willing to learn. A Type-A with control can accomplish allot without burning out others and self. S/he can also be a great motivator and catalyst. The art to managing a Type-A is achieving balance between focus and challenges.
23.
July 16th, 2007 at 5:20 pm e
Lien Nguyen: It seems that there are a lot of negative perceptions around type-A personality, which shouldn’t be. I would like to classify type-A person in two categories: aggressive and assertive. The key difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness is the respect for other people in a team environment. The two traits should not be confused and I think if aggressive people can translate their personalities into being assertive – respect others’ opinions but yet still push for what they believe is right – then they can become very successful. Successful companies need type-A people, as they are the ones who are very driven and motivated. Type-A people are willing to do anything in order to help the company succeed.
24.
July 16th, 2007 at 5:21 pm e
Bill Pomeroy: I have had many encounters with type-A personalities, both good and bad.
It has been my experience to let the situation dictate the terms on which I deal with a type-A. More often than not I have simply allowed the person to do what they percieve needs doing. When on occasion I have believed this person to be in the wrong, I have found that direct confrontation works as long as you are logical and precise with the type-A.
25.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:43 pm e
Jonathon Barbato: You’ve gotten some great answers, most of which I agree with. Especially that advice coming from confessed type “A’s”.
My experience is:
-Respond as though you love them (complain to others, they don’t want to hear it and will consider you ‘weak’ for feeling it)
-Be direct and firm in what you know needs to be done (but only if you’re willing to do it better than you say…otherwise find a new job/person)
- They’ll pass over control if you wrestle it out of their hands and knock them down to get it…but then help them up once you’ve gotten it (with a little praise/recognition)
- Don’t take anything they dole out personally (it isn’t, they’re actually coming down on themselves…but this personality performs self-talk thru other people – YOU)
- Don’t take their praise too seriously and don’t take their criticism too seriously…THEY’RE BOTH VERY TEMPORARY…just look for the hidden messages as to their expectations buried in all that ego-talk, berating and boistering and then deliver and very briefly report your success in a timely manner, thanking them for the privelege of working so hard for them in the process.
26.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:44 pm e
Rick Watson: I’m going to answer one part of one of your questions. One of the negative sides of a type A personality is that they frequently believe that “it all will be taken away.” In this case, many benign conversations and situations are viewed as attacks and a call for battle. I call them misperceives – everything is perceived as threatening.
The other two types are Mis-believers think that everything and everyone is OK. Confusers confuse danger with safety and vice versa. Type A personalities generally will be Confusers and when they are stressed Misperceivers.
I think that it would be beneficial to make a distinctions about the individual you have to deal with. The question is whether their type A personality is a results from a compulsion or fear of something, or a generative, positive response moving towards something. I’m talking about the former.
The stress response for a type A person is the fight response (not a freeze or flight response). A type A personality, under stress from their (probably unknown) fear, is much more likely to commit fully and without reservation to a perceived or actual threat, do not see the value in compromise and see only winning or losing as a possibility, as a result of their competitive world view.
What to assess when you must deal with a Type A personality in this situation:
Time: Is it a good time to engage with them? How is your energy, your focus? Are you in a state, that can be fully present with them?
Timing: Timing is crucial with a Type A personality. A quick, unexpected jab (literally, you must take their balance) is important. The intent is to make them stop short, not to knock them over. If done correctly, you turn the engagement into a positive experience for both. Are you prepared to move quickly?
Location: Is it the right place to engage with the individual. If the conversation is occurring in front of important clients, direct reports, etc., it might be wise to move or delay the conversation.
Power: For this discussion, lets call power “spirit” or “presence.” If a strong inequity exists (they contain greater presence), this is a difficult engagement and it may be to your benefit to not engage. If a balance exists, you can engage, but you must be fully committed, as they will be.
This framework is from the book, Aikido in Everyday Life by Terry Dobson and Victor Miller. When all this is understood, the object becomes to unbalance, connect or engage, and then harmonize. Use as little force as necessary so that a repair, if necessary, takes little energy.
27.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:47 pm e
Madhu Sameer: Beat them to a pulp with a baseball bat!
Jokes aside, except for competitiveness, other qualities – in moderation – are probably good for business, if managed well. Aligning job requirements and rewards in line with their temperament and their achievements is a good idea. An A -type overperformer has a need that probably can/should be met…an underperformer, underachiever needs to go.
I’d tactfully recommend depth counseling for stress relief. A-Type respond to depth psychology very well….
28.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:50 pm e
Scott Goldman: This is a great question certainly worth pondering. I deal with every one on a one to one basis, one size does not fit all. I’ve learned over the years to “teach” others how I like to communicate which reduces the amount of negative energy and confrontation.
There is one Type A person in my sphere that I derive mentorship and confidence from. He continually inspires me to acheive because of his own drive and the way that he can effectively communicate with me.
The trickier personality is the glory seeker, the self – appointed martyr.
In this scenario, I must continue to recognize that there is nothing that I can do or say that will change his style. I am direct, concise and forceful when need be and try to put my energy into something more productive.
I myself exhibit a degree of Type A behavior, although I am known to be a flexible and attentive leader. The difference between all of us helps to make the day exciting, energizing, frustrating, productive and inclusive. Without it, life would be pretty boring.
On 7/16/07 4:46 PM, Scott Goldman added the following clarification:
This occured to me after reading several well written posts:
What personality types excel in leadership roles? Are only Type A personalities considered top managers? What , if anything, is missing from this group in terms of effective leadership?
29.
July 17th, 2007 at 11:33 am e
Sujatha Das: This is a very interesting question.
To my understandign Type A personalities are people who display traints of Time Urgency and Impatience arising from High Competitiveness & Strong Achievement Orientation.
In my experience, after understaning a Type A or Type B, it is also possible (with practice ofcourse) to leverage the key strengths in oneself to be able to adapt oneself in to these personalites as the situation demands.
To answer your queries,
(a) When you encounter this type, how do you deal with them?
I would provide these personalites with complex jobs, which needs a lot of intellectual perspective. These people are good at multi-tasking, can turn out tasks very easily. The core aspect here is that these personalities to me appear as single performers, since teaming would require patience to cope with others speed and thoughts. Providing activities that one person can do is ideal for these personalities.
b) Have you found your relationships with type-A’s mutually beneficial or one sided?
Sometimes yes and sometimes No. As I mentioned earlier, if this is a single Sepcialist task the relationship is wonderful and beneficial. Where a team has to work together in a synchronized manner, one definetely needs to re-look at having these personalities since the impatience will take and upper hand creating dissatisfaction and disharmony among members.
c) Do you consider yourself a type-A? What are the positive and negative sides of type-A personalities?
If I have to do a strategy all by myself, I am certainly a Type A, since I can work fast, multi-task and also drive myself to a success, with all constraints. The strength in facing obstacles is a positive point in Type A, where as easily getting frustrated is also another aspect. But I find it easy to motivate myself quickly and get back to track. For example, if I need to present a strategy or a framework or to plan and impart a trainnig, I would focus on my Type A personality.
When I need to work in a team, I consciously place my expectations and skills a little low to be able to synchronize with the team, and to take the team along. This I have practices myself well since my work mainly involves a team. I understand and believe that each person is not at the same wave length and one needs to appreciate the unique skills of every person. This understanding helps in bringing a balance to one’s perspective and interactions.
Postives of Type A:
Very quick and agile, Focused, quick response time, Multi tasking, Drive to succeed, Turn around quickly from demotivation, Passionate towards doing things, Strength to face Challenges.
Improvement aspects of Type A:
Impatience – Need to do things quickly, Time Urgency – “why can’t people do things fast” – attitude, Aggresiveness, Short Tempered, Tensed.
30.
July 17th, 2007 at 11:34 am e
Lionel Spearman: Being a recovering type A myself I would be curious to read people’s response.
For me have found giving them the choice and control and guiding while soothing their egos works. Depending on person have found it beneficial.
31.
July 17th, 2007 at 11:35 am e
Mohua Sen: I found the web site (http://stress.about.com/od/understandingstress/a/type_a_person_2.htm?once=true&) very useful….has information on Type A personality traits.
The author mentions that assertiveness and healthy conflict resolution techniques can help deal better with Type A personalities. I have tried few of the techniques and I have seen results myself. (The Web site also has links to the topics Assetiveness and Conflict Resolution.)
Positives of Type A: High productivity, Perfectionist.
Negatives: Impatience, Aggressive.
I am a mix of A and B. I think that we can maintain a mutually beneficial relationship with Type A’s by assigning them to really challenging, time driven work. Type As like to be recognized, awarded, praised for their work…probably that’s one way to keep them going. If you are dealing with a very strong A type personality, one man project situations might work best.
32.
July 17th, 2007 at 11:39 am e
Chase Crowson: If someone pushes, you pull. I believe the key to “dealing with” Type A personalities is to accept them as such, & try to collaborate instead of confront. Buy-in is key. Type As might not be very easy to manage, but they are usually the movers & shakers within the organization.
33.
July 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am e
Frank Gorrell, MSA, CPA: There are many great answers above. I have known several “Type-A” people in my life. I am who I am; they are who they are. I also know that I will probably out-live them because they burn so much energy and create inner stress.
Sincerely, (in a laid-back, relaxed, surfer-dude way)
34.
July 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am e
Bjorn Vos: I believe that the behaviour that any person shows, comes from the belief that that behaviour is the most positive thing to do for that person at that time. That doesn’t mean it really is, ofcourse…
The best way to handle any kind of personality, in my opinion, is align in some way or another and give the other person more options then he or she is giving himself or herself. You know for yourself that when you are struggling with a personality, you are not on the right track of persuasion. To be on track again, you just have to ajust. Our natural response on another person’s behaviour often is not the best response we could give, from a persuasion point of view. It is usually the response we get used to give. A good book to read: Time Line Therapy and the Basis of Personality, Tad James,Wyatt Woodsmall.
35.
July 17th, 2007 at 2:44 pm e
William F DeVault: How do I handle a Type-A personality? Badly.
I don’t mind competition, but competing just to compete is like kissing just to kiss: Without a constructive and purposeful motive behind the action, it is an aggravating shadow of what should, could and would be if people had an agenda beyond just “winning”.
Type-A’s have their place. Usually it involves dropping them behind enemy lines with high explosive and a map.
They are a sideshow in most organizations, generating a great deal of friction that actually does more damage than good to the overall organization.
I try to give them a corner to control and a mission to accomplish, then avoid them except to occasionally check in to make sure they aren’t doing more damage than good. Too much interaction with them and my work doesn’t get done, as I am busy dealing with their ego instead of my job.
When they rise to power, they often do a lot of damage. I have worked for Type-A’s and they seem to be amongst the least ethical and most inconsiderate of bosses, managing without consensus and not accepting counsel of those wiser or more experienced than themselves, often creating a real retention problem, which in the long run costs the organization.
If you must deal with them, find a goal to focus them on, set guidelines for them to operate under, and let them apply that overabundance of testosterone to bashing down walls with their heads, with few collateral casualties to have to deal with.
36.
July 17th, 2007 at 5:20 pm e
Michael Huskins: The same way water relates to oil. They do not by nature mix, and why should they?
37.
July 17th, 2007 at 5:21 pm e
George F Franks III: Whether you are an “A Type” personality or not yourself, dealing with them can be challenging.
As peers, subordinates or bosses, “A Types” are hard chargers, must be in control and are often over-bearing, pushy and will not anyone or anything stand in THEIR way.
As subordinates, they can be very effective. The key is being very clear about objectives and any guidelines with them. Give them big projects with big accountabilities and tell them what needs to be done but not how to do it. And then let them go (but follow-up is essential to insure they are on track).
As peers, A Types will do anything to take control of a project, a customer or an organization. Going head to head with them rarely works. Sometimes sidestepping and allowing them to fail is the best policy as long as it does not impact your performance or compensation. But watch out, you may end up charged with cleaning up after they have done their bull in the china shop routine – and they can be high risk.
As for bosses, unless you are an A Type, working for one is a nightmare. Their expectation for everyone under them is to work as hard and the same way they do – as the bare minimum. They usually expect more. So unless you like working 7×24 and few if any compliments – avoid working for an A Type. But its not easy. Senior executives seem to thrive on A Types – and are often A Types themselves. So they get promoted disproportionately to other high performers with lower key styles.
38.
July 18th, 2007 at 9:08 am e
Mukund Toro: I am not type A, I am exactly reverse, so I find it difficult to deal with such personality type. I try to deal with them at transaction level. That is, do the least expected for the relationship and get out of their way.
Although I would not want to believe, sometimes my relationship with type-A has been beneficial to me. They have forced me to close long pending issues.
On the positive side of type-A. Highly achievement oriented. I have seen some taking difficult tasks to successful completion. Have no fear in using unconventional means. Sometimes their reports (especially if they are also type A) love them.
On the negative side of type-A. They annoy people especially peers competing for same resources. Bad team players. May use unfair means or at times unethical means by conventional standards to achieve their objectives.
39.
July 18th, 2007 at 11:39 am e
Melissa Pollock: My opinion, being fairly type A myself, is that you give Type A’s the initial tools and training, then the autonomy to creatively execute beyond the fundamentals, then the praise and economic rewards to continue to fuel their competitiveness, then the challenge of more and more complex undertakings or additions to their job function.
Bottom line, Type A’s need control and creative space, they need continuous challenge, and they need recognition. If you can provide these things in your working relationships with Type A’s, you will provide them the necessary “leash” in the line to shine, and the needed respect to be able to keep them “in check”!
The up-side – if they’re positive, well-balanced people is that they’re typically your top performers – consistently out performing everyone else. The down side, if they’re more insecure or have authoritarian issues is that they’re often “prima-donnas” that will hold you hostage – constantly going just beyond the lines of acceptability, knowing that most managers will have trouble holding them accountable since they’re a top producer.
40.
July 18th, 2007 at 4:54 pm e
Ned James: The best way to deal with them is to exhibit some of the same qualities. that is ambition, fast paced, quick. Show no weakness. Otherwise, you’ll get rolled right over.
41.
July 18th, 2007 at 4:56 pm e
John Rodrigues: The types, A/B/D, seem to indicate heart conditions. Ideally there would be a healthy type also. Then there could be a sort of genetic string, analogous to DNA, but on personality level. This might be the case, for example, if the same person had to go through behavioral modes in the course of handling their environment including other people. How about putting a type-H in between a pair of A’s?
42.
July 19th, 2007 at 9:27 am e
Leri M. Thomas, Ph. D.: The most interesting about this are the answers from the Type A’s. Thanks for your willingness to share! I work closely with a Type A and there are times when I really hurt for him. He struggles with his frustrations and tries SOOO hard to control everything. He has a very hard worker and tireless in his attempts to achieve perfection. But, it hurts him. I used to be like that, but I got over it.
I try to let him know that everything really is going to be all right; that he can have high expectations, but that if he can stay in the present, patience isn’t necessary. Patience is only needed by folks who are trying to live in the future. I try to maintain a sense of humor. It relaxes me and frees him. However, some Type A’s do not allow humor. How could they? It would require that they let go of their MO. One Type A supervisor once shouted at me, “This happy-go-lucky attitude has got to go!”
Simple axioms or cliches save me.
How important is this? Many type A’s think everything is important. Disasters have a way of reminding us that very little is really important. We really only need to attend to a few basic things. Start with life. If I am so busy spinnng my wheels, I miss living, and then I’m old. I want to save my resources for significant and joyful things, not important ones.
Hurt people hurt people. People put themselves in psychological prisons with faulty assumptions. People who are hurting as a result are very difficult to be around because they emit pain. Sometimes if they really get on my nerves I tell them, “I love you and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.” Or I’ll suggest that they sleep on this one and we’ll get back to it tomorrow – That is if they sleep. I do.
Essentially the state of type A is one where a person has no confidence in a higher being or others. S/he has to take command, for some reason related to a fear. I don’t need to let those fears define me.
Bottom line: I can’t make anyone else change, but I can be compassionate and attempt to shift a perspective. The best way I know to do that is to make the subject question what I’m doing. His or her thinking is open to new ideas if there is a question pending. Then I might be able to shift their thinking or show them how an assumption is messing them up.
My companion noted the other day that perfection is really a human construct and that we were inherently already perfect with all of our so-called flaws. It is interesting to contemplate this in light of what we all try to accomplish. Most of the time, good answers where there all along, we just thought we had to fix things.
We know who the type A’s are, and that by itself is a human construct. Most of us flirt with it. When we get “type A,” we are hyper-alert, scared, certainly not trusting or faithful, unhappy, trapped in a web of other human constructs that were essentially designed to obtain maximum performance at our expense.
43.
July 19th, 2007 at 2:00 pm e
Nancy Fulton: How do I deal with someone “marked by excessive competitiveness and ambition, an obsession with accomplishing tasks quickly, little time for self-reflection, and a strong need to control situations”
In a business situation I suppose I try to give them what they want, at a price.
If it gets to be too big a hassle I find someone else to work with.
One of life’s big IQ tests is whether or not you choose to work for intelligent, friendly, professional, insightful, efficient and hard working people . . . or choose to work with people who think acting like a jerk solves problems.
44.
July 21st, 2007 at 11:25 am e
Steve Berry: A-types – that’s probably the easiest of all !
They need to be seen as competent, respected, a winner, in control, an achiever etc. So appeal to the concept that you are asking them something because of their competence / expertise / professionalism. You value their opinions for the same reason etc etc.
With a relatively basic understanding of Jungian psychology you can turn these ’selfish one way’ relationships into mutually benefical ones with ease.
It’s also quite easy to recover from a mistake with them – they never hold grudges and can forgive errors (ours, not theirs – theirs are someone elses fault of course) – “we all make mistakes – only the other day I thought I was wrong, only to find that I wasn’t” – says Mr A.
I may be an expert at dealing with extreme-A’s – my father is the most extreme-A I have ever encountered – despite a career in the finance world!
Now other behavioural types – they’re much more difficult!
and as for De V’s great quote ……
“Type-A’s have their place. Usually it involves dropping them behind enemy lines with high explosive and a map.”
You have correctly identified my father’s former profession!
45.
July 21st, 2007 at 10:12 pm e
Alan Lockhart: To a degree, these type of people are a necessity. They force us to examine ideas, look at our thought processes to insure that all the i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed.
Generally, I will listen to any point of view and examine its merits. In my position, I don’t often encounter such people, (I am basically in charge of my work duties or I deal directly with my manager).
A question for you, How do you think these sorts of people last in business? My thinking is that someone in upper or middle level management feels the need for a contrarian or someone willing to challenge ideas and thoughts that other people won’t.
46.
July 22nd, 2007 at 12:37 pm e
Terry Bean: My question is, when you encounter this type, how do you deal with them?
As a sales recruiter, I don’t want to deal with anyone but. I have found that the best way to deal with them is to hear them out then slow them down a little. Most realize that they are type A and welcome the occasional “slap”. This only works if your point is better than theirs.
Have you found your relationships with type-A’s mutually beneficial or one sided?
If they are one sided, they don’t stay relationships very long.
Do you consider yourself a type-A?
More of a B+ leaning toward an A-
What are the positive and negative sides of type-A personalities?
+ DRIVE, energy, passion if they are focussed, they can be amazing
- Need to relax a little Generally a bit too concerned about themselves