Dr. Earl R. Smith II

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31 Responses to “How do you deal with professional Avatars?”
1.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:02 pm e
Jacek Szymczyk – May I suggest a method used to detect human clones in the “Blade Runner”. This seminal SF movie was directed by Ridley Scott and is loosely based on the novel “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” by Philip K. Dick. In order to apply this method in a Avatar dissemination process, you need to develop a set of questions. Questions can handle range of sensitive topics applicable to a particular instantiation of the professional Avatar. As in the movie, time of the detection procedure will vary, and it will take longer to detect really advanced Avatars. In some cases the procedure will fail. Then again, in my opinion, there are no perfect methods.
2.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:03 pm e
Sujatha Das – I think it is over confidene and arrogance that predatory people have in them, which leads them to become insensitive, scared of losing their credibility, self esteem et al.
It is easy to “give up” as many have mentioned here, and may be that is the last resort! I still feel that people should be given multiple chance to overcome their arrogance and this fear.
Some ways of looking at I would personally look at dealing with such people are:
a) Making effort in understanding their reactions and defense mechanisms. This will help in getting oneself prepared and not react to these individuals.
b) Making better efforts in communication to do inquiry and probe with more open questions which will enable them to speak out what they feel better. Better listening and re-stating what is understood, which helps in better understanding with these individuals.
c) Preparing oneself better with facts, rationale and the like before sitting for a discussion. It is essential to get a trust to be able to even talk to these individuals. This also helps us in reflecting on various possibilities and we are not taken by surprise with any type of reactions or pressures.
d) Never lose faith in oneself just because somebody is trying to bully us.
One of the points I wish to emphasize is that it is not always one’s reaction or interaction, but how mulitple people view these individuals that matters. So what strategy may work will depend on how much of support one may get from those who can decide or influence.
As regards damage, if done, can have long run impacts. It is difficult to sustain credibility, trust, team unity, cohesiveness in the team et al, if these individuals try to influence. Hence, care should be taken to clearly evolve team values and rules and also what action will be taken if these are not followed. This brings some discipline into the team which helps in controlling major problems.
3.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:05 pm e
Dennis Furr – What do we do when a person isn’t what we expected? How do we separate the contenders from the pretenders?
For professional relationships I suggest rigourous interviews conducted by trusted professionals. Select an interview board that contains experts in the disciplines that you require of the candidate. Consider psychometric testing as a early indicator. Especially for candidates for key roles, subject them to a stressful environment. This stress may unbalance a fake but a true professional will remain on target.
Make sure that you have an adequately long probationary period so you can evaluate performance in your work enviornment. Don’t be afraid to cut someone loose if they disappoint during the probation. Take your losses early and move on.
If you find a fake in your organisation that for legal or political reasons is difficult to displace, create an environment that the person can’t possibly tolerate. Assign tasks that you expect will be unfulfilled and closely monitor the situation. Be prepared to detect failures early and “sweep up” the mess. Document these failures and build a case for dismissal. If necessary, leverage the humiliation factor by making it obvious to that person’s peers that they aren’t able. Make the fake want to leave.
This sounds really terrible and I’m not that way inclined but I won’t tolerate a fraud.
4.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:05 pm e
Jodi Blackley – Most everyone in this world wears different masks depending on the expectations placed upon us and the coping skills we’ve learned to put in place to deal with those expectations. If a person has good coping skills, then the opportunity to see the person’s “real” self may not have a need to surface or you may be experiencing their “real” self. If the person doesn’t have the appropriate coping skills, it is then you may experience the “time wasted” and “misspent energies” you refer to.
How do I deal with such energy and time? I, personally, try to align myself with the person’s true self and not get sucked into their drama. If it begins to impact me or my focus, then I may draw upon the person’s strengths, so that I empower the person rather than maintaining a negative relationship. Another possibility is if they continue to maintain a negative energy, then I limit my exposure to them.
Life is too short to encompass my life with the problems of others. Not to say that I’m not empathic or supportive, but I will not engulf their problems at the point of self-sacrifice.
5.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:06 pm e
Jeremiah A. B. Locanas – I don’t think there is anything wrong with Avatars in and of itself. It’s akin to anonymous polling/feedback in marketing. You want as clean an answer as possible and sometimes the delivery has to have a filter to do that.
There are situations when Avatars can be abused, just like any form of power though. If people are anonymously posting intentionally defaming remarks, for example, that can be grounds for serious consequences. In those type of situations people need to find as much of the truth as possible about an entire situation and then make a decision. If one is forced to make a decision w/out all/enough/misdirected information, then one has to wonder what is the intent? I believe it’s also illegal to record conversations via cellphones without asking/telling people first – I’ve had this done several times to me in the past year, and you just notice it and remember…
Like many of the posts above, I agree that it’s easier to determine the truth in person by asking questions and monitoring body language vs online.
6.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:07 pm e
Warren Whitlock – Here’s the easy solution… Just assume that every person you encounter is an avatar. Reality is just an illusion.
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts”
“On the Internet, no one knows you are a dog”
7.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:08 pm e
Thamir Ghaslan – How do you detect Avatars?
I rate myself highly when it comes to reading body language, and thats the first line of attack I use when detecting Avatars. If that fails, the second line is always reference checks from multiple sources to substantiate the Avatar’s claim.
What do you do when you come across one?
Try and make the person be as honest as possible with me, again, reading body language or any inconsistencies from their statements.
How do you protect yourself against lots of wasted time and misspent energies when there is literally no there there?
I would’nt consider it a waste of time or energy, on the contrary, I’d consider it sharpening of my skills.
I’ve revealed a lot of Avatars both in my professional and personal lives, and 90% of the time I’d get a feeling of anger from them. And the angry feelings, is what I would be worried about if it escalates.
8.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:09 pm e
Jennifer McFarland – Corner the person with probing questions and listen for the answers. Piece together what is real on your own. The answers you get will determine if the person is for real or not. If the person is honest, you’ll see the limits of their capabilities because we all have limits to our substance and professional qualifications.
Maybe that is the key to this question. Does this person appear to know and offer absolutely everything, or is there some acknowledgement of areas for growth? Look for both a legitimate skill set and humility in that same person as they acknowledge what they have yet to learn.
In fairness, do these avatars sense that they are being judged unfairly by being honest? If so, it could induce them to lie. So an impression of an impartial fair assessment could help steer someone away from such a course. That having been said, lying is an unacceptable response either way. Ultimately, the person doing the lying is the one deserving of the consequence.
On the other hand, it’s a balance for the person trying to make a good impression. If that person is too modest and can’t sell their legitimate skill set, that is also an unfortunate situation. It’s frustrating to see coworkers we know have special skills not voice them loud enough, but that’s their own responsibility. I’ve seen both scenarios played out.
9.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:11 pm e
P Jay Massey -
LinkedIn Avatars:
If you are referring to avatars as they relate to LinkedIn, my filter is to look for a high volume of diverse and convincing recommendations in their profile. A few people may promote the avatar’s ruse, but they will not be able able to maintain that for long. Especially if I can contact, or be introduced to, the referring member.
Resumé Avatars:
When it comes to professional avatars, I deal with that every week in the form of incoming resumes. A resume/vita is a form of professional avatar. In the case of our company, I care less about what a candidate says they can do or have done. Show me. I want portfolio web links to active and past projects. That is my filter. And it has been very effective for the last dozen years.
10.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:12 pm e
Rosanna Durruthy – Your questions are prescient. As a leadership coach, I help individuals integrate the personal and professional selves, to be whole and authentic at work and in life. I have found the “Avatar” is often a learned behavior. The “professional Avatar” often does not realize that the alternative personality they portray – is a facsimile of what they think a successful person does, looks like, or even acts like. It’s not likely they have a high degree of trust or comfort in their professional environment and believe that acceptance comes from “pretending to be…” What drives this behavior, usually fear and a lack of confidence that what they have to offer is sufficient.
I’m not sure that there is a shortcut to detecting an “Avatar”.
When you do find one you can choose to avoid, or try to discover what their real motivation is. To do the latter implies it’s important for you to figure this person out – a critical business relationship, colleague or direct report, perhaps? To do the former will save you time but, if this person sees you as a mentor, coach or role model, you may be able to help them become aware of something that can be life changing. Something he/she doesn’t know has become the definition of character.
11.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:13 pm e
Seema Singh – I think you can sense an Avatar more than “understand or uncover” an Avatar.
Avatar word comes from ancient language of India- Sanskrit. It means (according to me) someone with extraordinary personal and spiritual powers. Someone like Mahatma Gandhi probably.
So, when one meets an avatar one doesn’t have to necessarily apply any reality check. Let the relationship proceed its own course without expecting great events/advantages due to that, but yes- The reality of Avatar will surface on its own. It’s somethink inbuilt in individuals and they (if genuine) don’t portray that in public or advertise it in business gatherings.
Finally, my answere would be- You will “sense” one when you meet. Or can “sense” one in indirect interactions through other virtual means.
12.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:14 pm e
Ben Mack – Nobody ever fell in love with Eliza. You give them a Turring test to see if their a bot or not. If human, of course their an avatar. We all where masks, especially in professional roles.
What’s this non-avatar online-entity of which you speak?
13.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:15 pm e
Pat Wagner – I think it is like most successful human relations – you are always polite, diplomatic, etc., but, you take your time. There is rarely the need to jump into business relationships with people in the first five minutes, no matter how appealing they are. I have a skeptical nature, so I don’t mind waiting to know someone. I am not desperate to do business with any one person or institution.
I have noticed that people who tend to get taken are easily flattered. Con artists are good at detecting the mark’s need for praise. My guard goes up when the person gushes about how wonderful I am, etc. I am not desperate for approval.
Second, if the person is presenting themselves as an experienced expert, I ask questions. Most of the time, the more specific your questions, the more the likely that their facade with crumple. My husband is a master at this. He is always respectful, however, I know him well enough to know when he begins his own due diligence of the claims the person is making regarding their knowledge and experience. He leans forward, smiles, and says, “Cool, you know Joe Doe! What do you think of his doctoral thesis from 1997 on marginal utility?” (My husband is very well read…)
Third, I do check references, make phone calls, check my own network. It is amazing how many times these folks get away with blatant lies that can be revealed with a single e-mail. If someone gets angry because I ask for a substantial reference, that is pretty much the end of the conversation. Becoming angry is a great distraction technique – puts you on the defensive so that it is easy to forget what the point was.
Fourth, I look for references who have known them not for months, but for years and decades. If they don’t have the ability to sustain longterm relationships, I become concerned. I don’t burn many bridges, so if you want references for I have known in business 30 years, fine with me.
We all make mistakes, go through bad times, have relationships go sour, etc., so I don’t necessarily break off a potential relationship based on one or two problems. There are some people whom I have worked with for years with no problems and whom others won’t go near, and vice versa. However, I think that these avatars flourish in some circles because there is a kind of person who wants to be conned.
On the other hand, the kneejerk cynic loses out on lots of interesting opportunities.
One flaw with online networks is that the speed at which you can meet someone also creates an expectation that you can “know” someone faster. Not necessarily.
14.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:16 pm e
Tom Easton – Some people reveal a great deal about themselves by the mask they choose to wear. If the mask seems too good, I would suspect it represents a wish that it fitted the person, perhaps a deep-seated insecurity. Yet it can also represent truth or near-truth, or even modesty. Personally, I think we all wear masks of one sort or another. “Avatar” is a new term, not a new phenomenon. As a college professor who must educate students, I try not to let my perception of their masks interfere. Whether the mask represents truth or lie will become clear in due time. In other words, give them all the rope they want or need. Sometimes they hang themselves, sometimes they don’t, sometimes they learn how to make the mask more real. Is my time and energy wasted? I don’t think so, but then the college environment is very different from the corporate world.
15.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:17 pm e
Sean Parker – “How do you detect Avatars?”
When you meet someone in real life how do you tell if they are who they say they are? It may be through body language, eye contact, the timbre of their voice. The point is, you converse with them, the longer the conversation, the more inconsistencies will come to light, whether it is in person, on the phone, over email or IM.
“What do you do when you come across one?”
It depends. Are they a harmless glory hound, are they on a phishing expedition, what is their end-game? For me the online world is a simple extension of the real world so how do you deal with a charlatan in the physical world. Walk away, tell them to go away, end the relationship.
“How do you protect yourself against lots of wasted time and misspent energies when there is literally no there there?”
That is life. Every time we strike a conversation we take that risk. There is something to be learned from even “wasted time.” To protect yourself via isolation or hiding away is wasted time. Life is a risk. Getting lost and going down a dark alley or two is part of the risk and can even be fun.
For all I know you could be an avatar – there could be no Earl, you could be an application programmed to post questions to LinkedIn. I don’t know, but I have taken a chance an answered your question and made myself think about how I deal with people both on and off line.
16.
August 11th, 2007 at 11:25 pm e
Yvonne Larose – See my answers from your question about predators. The continuation of that answer is as follows with regard to effects:
3. The most memorable was the legal secretary I relieved on a temp basis. She was out because the attorney she worked for wanted to know where she was at every second. If she left her desk for *any* reason, he became angry and reported her to personnel. She was out because his abuse had started making her physically ill. I saw his methodology when I found a document that was misdelivered and took it to Personnel, only to find him standing at the HR person’s desk ranting because I was not at the desk — I also went to the bathroom.
Examples of this type of behavior that I’ve seen? Try any domestic violence scenario. Another, was a bank manager who stood in the middle of the bank and screamed at one of his assistant managers about how stupid she was and inept. Both left. She returned after transferring to another branch for a short period of time.
Interestingly, one of the blog posts wherein I speak precisely on this point is on the blog that disappeared (I blamed that on Paris Hilton). The post is titled “There are Some You Just Don’t Want.” The Wayback Machine site has not yet indexed that post from February 21, 2006 so I cannot provide a link to it. However, I have links to several other posts that are on point in addition to what to do.
How do you recognize the avatar? When it’s too good to be true. Consider what you may lose if you extend the help that they request. It may be a veiled means of siphoning power and control. Think of the character Iago.
17.
August 11th, 2007 at 11:28 pm e
Pat Wagner – Thanks for your note! I enjoy reading your contributions in these forums and I really like this use of the word avatar.
I have noticed that the classic notions in contemporary schools of therapy having to do with managing boundaries with people. The classic victim, who either does not set appropriate limits or who imbues people with magical powers to solve their problems not only attract avatars but seems to seek them out. More than once, when I tried to tell a client that they were been conned, they turned on me! (Inventors seem particularly susceptible to flattery and illusion, when it comes to people who are going make them rich and famous.)
I appreciate the invite. My husband and I are limiting our LinkedIn accounts at this time most to people who we have known and done business with in the “real” world, mostly so I can control my time and resources. But do please keep in touch. Will look forward to your next thought-provoking ideas!
18.
August 12th, 2007 at 3:37 pm e
Gigi Knudsen – What a great question. These people are everywhere, and we have to wonder how they have succeeded for so long without being detected–in the lab we have been calling scientific B.S.’ers “shmexperts” for some time, though I don’t recall where I first heard the term. I honestly think that many people can detect schmexperts in their organization–but because they are insecure about their position in the group (perhaps they are younger), they may be cautious about calling out a person more senior to them.
I have two suggestions.
1. A warning sign of a schmexpert group leader is when you see good, smart people leaving the project early. Why did the team leave a project that was supposedly so important or well-funded? The inverse is a good question too, why did such a talented (schm)expert leave their previous team?
2. Another good warning sign is when these people insist that they are always right and everyone else in the field is completely wrong. These schmexpert personalities can be very convincing! In science (or any other field) I think we must rely on our ability to read and interpret results, and we have to trust our instincts and ask questions about different points of view. A schmexpert will likely not be willing to discuss other ideas in a respectful dialogue. What do they have to hide in not wanting to discuss other interpretations? And, worse yet if this person is in fact right, would you really want to work with them on your team?
I truly believe in face-to-face meetings when one is team-building, if your (schm)expert candidate is disingenuine it will be clear from their interactions not only with you (where they present a very positive version of the avatar personality) but also with interactions with your team. I highly suggest asking your team after the interview whether they think this candidate is a good fit. Your team will give you an honest answer.
19.
August 12th, 2007 at 3:55 pm e
Ann Todd – Mykel and Seema – thanks for the definitions – divine incarnations are not always benign; Gods and angels come from both sides of the equation.
I have met several examples over the years – sometimes it is because they lack substance but want to hold onto the job; sometimes it’s because they are projecting what they think you want to see.
What do I do when I come across one? That depends on the circumstances – social or professional, and each response will be individual. Sometimes I do nothing – just reflect on how odd the encounter was.
How do I protect myself? I have learnt that Avatars are quite smart at knowing when what they are doing is not working, a respectful response of a few leading leading questions and they move onto others. I have also learnt that taking the time to check someone out is worth all the effort.
I have concluded that many Avatars are simply hopeful individuals operating beyond their skill and competence levels – not many are consciously malicious, some are simply desperate. The Zen response would suggest that if you are repeatedly meeting them, there is a lesson you have not yet learnt.
20.
August 12th, 2007 at 3:56 pm e
Beverly Garland – What I’m hearing is that you invested time and energy in one or more business relationships in which the other person(s) represented their capabilities in a way that merited high expectations, which were later unfulfilled. Since you value having your time and energy spent on more productive outcomes, you are feeling hesitant to trust others that way again, and wish to protect yourself from future disappointment and frustration.
Knowing nothing about the context in which you are encountering this issue, except that it’s business-related, I can only provide answers from my own context. And I have two kinds of answers, there. One is oriented toward a cut-and-dry business solution, and the other is a more personally-oriented approach which addresses the problem from the inside-out. So, take what you can use and leave the rest, as they say.
The first one is from a business hiring standpoint, where I find myself often. Fortunately, I have been in the same industry for fifteen years (the online games industry, as it turns out), which equals lots of contacts made over those years. If someone wants me to think they have a lot of industry experience, you can bet someone I know has worked with them before. It is fairly easy for me to dig up information from trusted folks I know. (And hence the value of tools like LinkedIn, too). Others reading this may not have the advantage of that sort of community, though.
The second answer can be applied in any context. However, it is way more philosophical, and may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it has worked fantastically when I have remembered to use it. I am learning to take a Taoist approach to the situations that life brings to my attention, as in “knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom” (Lao-Tzu). From that perspective, external “problems” are reframed as indicators of internal disharmony, which present opportunities for learning and personal growth. If confronted with your situation myself, I would meditate on the following questions: For what higher good is this being brought to my attention? Is there a pattern of this in my past? Is there any way I have been “an avatar” (as you refer to them), either in my business life, professional life, or other arena? If so, can I accept that about myself while picturing myself as being more “real” with others in the future, if that is how I want to be?
So what good comes from the latter approach? For me, several things: For one, I experience a greater understanding of other people, even if I don’t condone their behavior, after realizing in some ways that I’m not that different from them. Also, the feeling that I’ve made a mistake or wasted my time becomes irrelevant, as I recognize the value of the self-knowledge that could only come from having experienced what appeared to be a betrayal or deception. There was never anything for me to “protect” myself against, as it turns out. Lastly, I find that what was a problem pattern goes away, and all I had to do was get clear in myself, e.g., either I get better at seeing through people, other people begin to be more real with me, or those that can’t steer clear of me. As they say, your mileage may vary.
21.
August 12th, 2007 at 3:58 pm e
Alan Lockhart – Unlike others, I do not think that is necessarily easy to find an “avatar” just through interaction. First of, someone can be very talented, quite productive and a master at what they do and still be using a false persona.
Sometimes, this is part of the working life. Ask an administrative assistant or a secretary how many times they have had to act like someone’s story was truly interesting or how often they have had to be gracious or courteous to someone who was habitually rude to insure that this person or the organization they represented felt comfortable with the organization they were the gatekeeper for. Receptionists, waitresses, hair stylists, manicurists and many other people in many professions have to create a persona to keep customers and vendors happy and to uphold the message and feeling the organization they are a part of wants conveyed.
Other times, people do this for strategic reasons. They may be looking to get ahead or move forward in the organization and thus try to play a role that fits the personality of the person making the hiring decision. Their role may require that they be highly supportive of a certain group of employees.
More insidious are people who play roles to try and manipulate people to get the results they want out of a given situation. Here, often the person will try to appear to be doing certain things for one reason when they truly have another purpose in mind.
At the highest level of masking, it takes a very alert mind to detect such a person. One has to be aware of all that is going on within an organization, understand how different groups of people will benefit from decisions moving in one direction or another and then have a good memory of past activity and usually a source with information about what is going on in different parts of the organization. For example, to discover a good social manipulator in action requires that you are conscious not only of how they act around you, but how they act around different people. It requires an understanding of their personal motivations, goals, and interests. It requires a sensitivity to statements that sound phony or less than sincere.
For the most part, though, I think most “avatars” are harmless. They create personas that allow them to do them job effectively and to be in line with the goals and motivations of the organization they are a part of.
22.
August 12th, 2007 at 3:59 pm e
Terry Parsons – Part of the answer to this is determined by the context. The contexts that seem most relevant are professional and social. Professionally, the most straightforward approach is to dig in both in terms of subject matter expertise and affiliations. If they pass that test, use the affiliation to define your own list of references for them. I am always more interested in what I think of as “implied references” than those that are provided by an individual directly. Of course no one is going to list references that will not speak well of them. Find out enough about their back ground to identify people they have worked with, but have not provided as references. Another approach is to ask for at least one negative reference. Nobody is perfect, so everyone has someone they have worked with that they didn’t get on with. Checking a negative reference can provide interesting insight, though it has to be consider through the filter of malicious intent. One useful item that can be gained from a negative reference is other negative references. If the person is genuine, the negative reference will likely be hard pressed to produce other negative references, but if you find they are able to produce several very easily, then have to begin wonder about your candidate.
When it comes to digging in subject matter expertise, don’t just ask questions, test their skills. Give them a problem to solve and see what they do with it. If they pass both of these tests, they are either genuine, or they are a good enough avatar that they might as well be genuine.
23.
August 12th, 2007 at 4:01 pm e
John Dierckx – How do you detect Avatars?
Bu asking questions
What do you do when you come across one?
Be straight forward but also ask what it could be why you sense a mismatch between profile/resume and the real life experience: there may be more than meets the eye (and ear).
How do you protect yourself against lots of wasted time and misspent energies when there is literally no there there?
Upfront, you have to deal with it, although some due diligence is more than once enough to find initial inconsistencies. If not, and if I find out during the meeting, I just leave with the remark, I think I know enough for now.
24.
August 12th, 2007 at 4:08 pm e
Harshwardhan Gupta – I have come across many such people. One of the common threads that runs through all is them being habitual liars – they will lie about something even when there is no gain for them, really. Once I (sometimes regretfully) label someone as an ‘Avatar’ – as you said – then I start doubting everything he or she says. I assign them a Credibility Factor usually ranging from 0.2 to 0.0 and “multiply” their claims or statements by their Credibility Factor. Then the test I apply is: If A is saying X is true, and his credibility is 0.01, then there is only a 1% chance that X is true.
I know this sounds horrible, but what can one do otherwise?
Now sometimes I do end up ‘throwing out the baby with the bath water’ so to speak, but not doing so often leads to much more pain, as you yourself said.
How do I detect ‘Avatars’? They talk too much; and they either don’t let you speak, or they pretend listening to you, or they are not taking you very seriously. One of their favourite phrase (this is culture-specific) is “101%” .
Though I do take everyone at face value to begin with, but I do look for the telltale signs of talking too much, too glibly, making too many claims, being overtly assertive… and assign them a factor, though often after a few meetings.
The answer to your third question is in my above answer.
25.
August 12th, 2007 at 4:10 pm e
Mykel de Willigen – Let me start with the meaning of Avatar, which finds it’s origin in ancient Sankrit and translates as “divine incarnation”.
My understanding of your use of this concept, is that it’s a (devious?) misrepresentation of who this person is (in a professional sense).
I do not believe it’s possible for people to really get to know the other in a, or a couple, of conversations. Furthermore there’s plenty of situations in which one is expected to show their most beautiful side. A job interview is a very strong example, if somebody walks in and start a full blown monologue on all the obstacles (read: problems) they had to overcome and go on to tell they’d like to work for you, my guess is you won’t hire them. So a positive presentation of who you are as a person or as professional is more or less expected.
However, there’s a very fine line between presenting your (most) positive side and presenting something fictional. As you’ve already stated, scrutiny will show whether the picture perfect can be backed or if it’s just thin air.
There’s two points I’d like to add, though.
1. If somebody turns out to be (totally) different then you expected or believed, does it necessarely mean they were masking themselves? I’d think it’s more a matter of you making a poor decision (happens to all of us every now and then ), asking this questions will certainly add to your decisionmaking quality though.
2. Depending on the length of engagement, there’s another factor at work. Suppose it’s to be along term commitment and you’ve chosen “a talent” of whom you expect a certain development curve. If this curve doesn’t occur the way it was expected, did this person avatarize (this must be a new word!) him/herselve, or did things just work out differently?
Asking the right questions and fact/reference checking when doubts occur are your prime defences.
26.
August 12th, 2007 at 4:11 pm e
Howard Halpern – Ask them to do something. I live in Toronto and have found that many Torontonians have acting skill that rivals that possessed by Hollywood titans. But there is one thing all these people are extremely reluctant to do: put their concepts into practice. Challenge them to expend physical effort, follow through on a commitment, or demonstrate consistency in action. This is where they fail.
27.
August 12th, 2007 at 6:07 pm e
David D. “Griff” Griffith – An Avatar’s persona is based on a lie.
A lie must be tailormade to the time, place, circumstances and those present in that moment in order to be believed. Change a variable and the lie will need to be changed in order to continue to be believed. When an Avatar might be suspected, it is possible to test this by purposely, but discreetly, changing a variable and seeing the response, looking for any distinctions. I would propose though that if one is emotionally acute this distinction will appear naturally, without need of testing, and the Avatar will always, ultimately, reveal themselves.
28.
August 13th, 2007 at 9:27 am e
John Dierckx – Please be advised this is what I do, in some cultures, amongst others politically correct NZ, you are usually not that upfront and divert from potential conflict. I have found however that I can not find myself not being open and honest at all times, without losing sight of respecting the other party.
Reactions are usually surprise instead of irritation and more than once in hindsight I have been thanked for my honesty.
29.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:45 pm e
Marc Smith –
1. How do you detect avatars ?
In truth, only when you meet face-to-face, and even then, if someone is truly committed and talented, they can maintain the facade for a long time.
If they have enough knowledge of a particular subject, they can fool even the experts (for a time).
What ’s that saying ? “The internet, where women are men, and children are FBI agents”. It holds true for everyone you might come into contact with.
2. What do I do when I come across one ?
Quite often, try to expose them – it’s a ’sport’ that you sometimes can’t resist. I know that’s probably wrong, but I have a real problem when people pretend to be experts / knowledgable in a certain field and give potentially harmful information out.
3. How do I protect myself ?
Say what I think (IF I can be inclined) and leave it at that – never get drawn into anything beyond initial observations.
There is a danger here ……. some avatars (in real life) are what they are for some form of protection, and destroying that ’shell’ can damage the person inside, so this needs to be balanced against the possible damage they may do others – think about a ‘fake’ doctor (there are many examples of this) – this is only a physical incarnation of an avatar.
30.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:46 pm e
Nick Hawley – I think it is very important to setup your organization’s interview process to detect and weed out “Avatar’s”. This can be done by interviewing a person’s “processing” skills and not just gathering information. Here’s an example of what I mean:
I was interviewing a candidate for a position my organization was offering. The person on paper, looked exceptional, among the highlights, the personal claimed expertise in SQL and Sarbanes Oxley. During the course of the interview I wrote a simple SQL statement on a whiteboard (SELECT * from usertable WHERE empid >100), I then asked the candidate what the SQL statement meant. He could not answer.
The challenge is to pick one or two statements on a candidate which I am pretty well versed in , and ask the person to go beyond simple knowledge, and get in to analysis. The truth is, SQL is a pretty logical syntax, even if the candidate know nothing of SQL, they could have logically worked through the problem and come close if not answered the question correctly. Insted the person refused to engage their brain, and simply said “I don’t know”.
It’s much more challenging when you encounter someone who is already in a position they are not qualified for. In that situation, it really depends on your level and sphere of influence. If they are a direct report to you, I would first start gently, attempting to assist the person in getting the skills they need through training. Next I would coach them to help them grow in the skills they need. If through this process it becomes apparent that the person is simply in over their head, I would look for another position within the organization where they would be a better fit. Finally you have no choice but the help them realize that their career would be served elsewhere. When the person is a peer or a superior, it becomes more difficult. This is because you get in to the politics of relationship management, how do you encourage these folk to get the help they need without “blowing their cover”. Believe the last thing you want to do is “blow the cover” of a peer or superior, because untimately it will reflect back on you as a poor team player.
31.
August 15th, 2007 at 3:24 pm e
Pete Zawadzki – If I suspected someone to be a Professional Avatar, I wouldn’t deal with them unless wasted time and misspent energies were entertaining. Misrepresentations require damages to be beyond entertainment. There’s a big business in entertainment now. Getting to be America’s greatest export.